Earlier this week I celebrated the Dave Matthews Band Chicago River incident-iversary by performing a Depths of Wikipedia show in LA with appearances by Jamie Loftus and Birds Aren’t Real and I think I ascended to the astral plane. I’m HAGSing the house down. I’m giving quotes to the Washington Post about the endearing notes people leave in library books. I’m waking up at 4am because my biological clock is still in the middle of the Atlantic on its way back from Europe. All I know is that it’s time to (first born unicoooorn/hardcore soft poooorn) dream of Californication. The Nebraska Humane Society named a dog “Dave Matthews Band Chicago River incident” after seeing my tweet. I gave little talk at Wikimania. I’m on an upcoming episode of Yeah But Still podcast where we discuss why gondolas are based, Poe’s Law, and why now more than ever, we must have a little taste for whimsy. The days are just packed.
I think I’m starting to enjoy doing these comedy shows. They gets easier and easier. If the y axis is how much I want to escape to the Alaskan wilderness on the day of a show and the x axis is time, I think the graph looks kinda like f(x)=1/x (a nice horizontal asymptote). Come see me in Seattle (August 18) or NYC (August 23)!
Links and things
The newsletter “Embedded” interviewed me about what things I like on the internet. I mentioned Martha Stewart’s recent Instagram post, which is a tribute to her six pet peacocks who were brutally murdered by coyotes and had the sultry “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye playing in the background. I also mentioned that the fraction 666/212 is approximately pi (kinda neat, huh!)
You can Google search “cat” (or “dog”) and click the paw button. you can also search “cha cha slide” and press the microphone. it’s just something you can do
I quite enjoy these Twitter accounts that that post excerpts of author diaries. There’s the Franz Kafka one (my favorite post says “7 June. Bad. Wrote nothing today.”) and the Sylvia Plath food one (my favorite post says “I find myself particularly sensitive now & yearn for a full fridge & marvelous snacks. 1/24/60”).
Ex-Vox writer Terry Nguyen writes for the Dirt newsletter now and I liked reading her post about cool girls gone Catholic and the whole overblown ironic piety moment. “To cite an oft-quoted line from the poet Ben Fama: ‘Prayer is whatever you say on your knees.’” This is the blood of Christ, shed for you. Thanks be to God
The golden age of DALLE mini and SHIRTS THAT GO HARD has passed and IMO the rising star of gimmick accounts is “weird howmanyofme.com names.” There are 19 people in the US named Jesus Burger, 52 named Joe Brandon, and just one special American legally named Dick Rider (I want to meet Dick Rider sooooo badly)
window-swap.com shows you a random window from around the world. If you want to submit yours, you can send a 10 minute, horizontal HD video of your view.
My friend David Shi mentioned in the Depths of Wikipedia Discord that Buzz Aldrin's mother's maiden name was... Moon.
Riveting forum post from someone who claims to have worked the on the boat that was victim of the Dave Matthews Band Chicago River incident
New Tingler called “The Sentient Lesbian Em Dash — My Favorite Punctuation Mark — Gets Me Off”
Gotta say that one of my favorite wikis to browse on a lonely evening is explainxkcd.com. I learn so much.
I’ve been binging Geography Now on YouTube which is kind of like reading the Wikipedia article for a country but a bit more palatable because you don’t even have to read
In 2019, cows mooved into a new house in Montana
my90stv.com is a TV simulator that shows 90s shows, music videos, trailers, and ads. It would be cool to project on the wall at a small party. Creator @joeycato has made loads of other nostalgic web projects that you will love. This one, in particular, is never going to let you down
If you need me I will be staring at the internet live stats and trying to fathom how the underwater internet cables can possibly work. Update 5 minutes after writing that first sentence: I made this meme about this exact feeling and I believe it is “going viral”
Let’s talk BUSINESS
I’m thinking about doing ads because I eventually have to get off my parents’ health insurance and I don’t have the most reliable income right now. I have ~7000 subscribers for this newsletter and ~1.07 million on the @depthsofwikipedia Instagram. If you’re a marketing person for a company that’s cool and reasonably ethical, hit me up (annierau at umich dot edu).
Let’s talk PLEASURE
Other things that have been bringing me joy: the word “hankering,” mango pastries from Porto’s Bakery (LA people get it), saying “mother may I” when I’m at a restaurant and the food comes, learning the capitals of Africa (training for pub trivia), calling my mom every 8 hours to see how she’s been, burrata, telling friends to meet in the backyard instead of the bar, the LA metro, pulling out a pen and paper and drawing little cartoons, saying “I’ll pay this time if you pay next time” instead of Venmoing, going to coffee with a smart friend and having so many ideas that I have to pull out a notebook, cycling, cyclopedias, Cher, your Substack likes and comments, and the Sisyphean endeavor of tracking down Breakfast (better known as “hot pink bitch called breakfast”). Let me know if you have any leads.
That’s it for now! Remember to like, comment, subscribe, eat your veggies, call your grandparents, go fruit picking while things are in season near you, start things before you feel ready, and get a nice cross-breeze going xoxoxo
<3,
Annie Rauwerda
Instagram: @annierau; Twitter: @anniierau
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